Hi, everyone! I wanted to share a piece I wrote on why Kris's unlikely victory is hard earned and well-deserved. Nothing new, especially if you're a regular on TWoP like I am, but I decided to put all my thoughts into one article. I know I'm late to the party (just joined this comm a few days ago), but I felt this write-up was still fairly relevant -- if anything, I hope it's at least a bit of a pick-me-up given the current media backlash.

It's an excerpt from this really long entry on my blog, where I also detail my personal experience with this season on Idol, the emotional ups and downs of rooting for an underdog, my Kris-is-the-new-Carrie theory, and why I think Season 8 is the best season ever. But I'll cut out the rambly bits and just include the "Kris's Journey" segment here:


Kris Allen's journey on Idol (set in slow-motion with fancy transitions and shit, to Kris's own it-grows-on-you rendition of "No Boundaries")

Argue all you want about how "No Boundaries" is a piece of unmitigated schlock, a testament to Kara DioGuardi's lameness, but there is no song more fitting to describe Kris's Idol journey. He had some huge-ass mountains to climb. He made it through the pain, weathered the hurricane. There are no boundariiiiiiiies.

Not only is he the unlikeliest Idol in all eight seasons, but he's also the Idol who's earned it the most. He received absolutely no help from the producers or judges. Allow me to list the mountains and hurricanes:

1. Screentime. 11 of the 13 finalists were featured in extended promotional video packages during the audition and Hollywood rounds. The two that got barely any screentime? Allison Iraheta and Kris Allen.
2. A sing-off. Kris was put through an unaired sing-off against Kenny Hoffpauer, an equally cute singer-songwriter type. Proof that the producers didn't want Kris as anything other than eye-candy cannon fodder.



3. Producer favoritism. Kris was the reason they had a Top 13 this year instead of a Top 12. He was extremely lucky to get through on a likable if underwhelming rendition of "Man in the Mirror," because that night, producer favorite Matt Giraud tanked. If Matt had delivered on the potential he showed in Hollywood Week and gotten through, I'm 100% positive they wouldn't have asked Kris to come back for the Wild Card round.
4. Performance order. Media darling Adam Lambert got to close the show (also known in the Idolsphere as the "pimp spot") 5 times, 3 of those in a row. Kris only got the pimp spot twice -- one of those was because he won a coin toss and got to choose. Most of the time, they put him in the early half of the show, usually at #2, which is why TWoPpers call it the Kris Allen Memorial Spot.
5. Rock Week. The producers were considerably crueler to other contestants (Allison, Anoop) than Kris, but only because they didn't initially see him as a threat. Kris didn't have a big voice or a fiery personality, so they figured they'd leave him alone and America would get bored with him eventually. When it was down to the Top 4 and Kris was inexplicably still there, the producers realized that it was time for some heavy-duty sabotage. He gets paired with that bastard-coated bastard with bastard filling, Danny Gokey, who screws up the lyrics to their "Renegade" duet and Simon still insists he outsang Kris, then Kris has to perform a solo right after, then the judges slam his hip, playful, creative rendition of "Come Together." Miraculously, Kris survived. The producers' mistake? Thinking the audience was stupid enough to buy the kid-glove treatment of Danny Gokey's "Scream On." Instead of tricking people into giving up on Kris's chances, they riled up his already paranoid fanbase, and other viewers who realized what utter bullshit it was that Danny gets a goddamned A for effort while Kris gets positively steamrolled for a superior performance. Nope, they weren't havin' it. The following night featured Kris's amusing shock!face when he was declared safe.
6. Top 3 Night. Naturally, he's slated in #2, the Kris Allen Memorial Spot. Simon praises Danny's mediocre "You Are So Beautiful" as a "vocal masterclass," fucking begs people to vote for Adam after the atrocity that was "One," and gives Kris's game-changing "Heartless" the most backhanded compliment ever: he couldn't praise it without first implying Kris had no chance of winning. Which leads me to:
7. Simon Cowell, the most manipulative SOB on the judges' panel. After being humiliatingly burned last year for mistakenly calling the finale a knockout in Archuleta's favor, he was very cunning about the way he handled this year's finale. He didn't want to rile up Kris's fanbase again by slamming him outright, since they tried that in previous weeks to no effect ("wet," "like eating ice for lunch"), so he undercut Kris in a more subtle way: damning him with faint praise. Adam got "You are truly a superstar." Kris got the condescending pat-on-the-head that was "You deserve to be standing on this stage tonight." Hasn't he deserved to be there the whole season, you fucking tool? That remark was essentially a "Thanks for playing, now go home" consolation prize.

So congratulations, Kris. You did the impossible, you obliterated the concept of a Chosen One on this show. They tried to break you, Jason Castro style, but the difference is this: Jason allowed himself to be defeated. You didn't. You kept on fighting, and came back with the majestic eff you that was "Heartless."

You deserve this, not just because of the things you overcame, but the things you accomplished: In a show that favors big voices, you made the most out of your limited range, making up for it with your musicality, inventiveness, and emotional connection. Other contestants demanded the viewer's attention with flash, pizazz, and glory notes, while you drew people in with your simplicity and quiet confidence. They had fancy lighting and glamorous outfits, all you had were jeans, a t-shirt (sometimes those unfortunate plaid polos you like so much) and your guitar. You took pleasantly dull numbers like "Remember the Time" and "How Sweet It Is" and infused them with your funky, fresh style. You turned overdone Donna Summer and Bill Withers tracks into something refreshing and current. In a Movies Night full of cheese and two Bryan Adams songs (ugh), you picked a beautiful, obscure indie number, "Falling Slowly," and made a moment out of it. You pwned Kanye with his own song, and he couldn't even hate you because you're just that awesome. You were saddled with that piece of shit single "No Boundaries," and you made it not just listenable, but emotional and infectious, to a point where I'm not even embarrassed anymore to admit that I love it. I love that stupid, trite Idol coronation song. Do you see what you have done here?

You didn't pander. Not to the Christians, even though you were a worship leader who did missionary work overseas; you insisted, awesomely, that religion shouldn't matter in a music competition. Not to the fag-haters; you sported black nail polish on your thumb as a show of solidarity for your gay friend and co-finalist, and spoke out for acceptance on his behalf (man, I wish you and Adam could do GLAAD PSAs together). Not to the many, many people who thought you were a hot piece of ass; you were not Ace Young or Constantine or Haley Scarnato or Katharine McPhee, who would milk it for all its worth, wearing suggestive outfits and eyefucking the camera until it begged them to stop. You didn't hide the fact that you were married, to a blonde homecoming queen as adorable and wee as you are. You refused to be the hot guy who could sing, you were the musician who happened to be attractive. No, you didn't pander, you didn't want votes for any reason other than your music.

And I was one of those people, who liked you for your music, even though I'm aware that you're both cute and extremely nice. I've been watching this godforsaken show for five years, and there is only one person about whom I can honestly say, without batting an eyelash, "I liked everything he did." I'm buying all of your albums, even though you didn't have to win for me to do that. Not only are you my favorite Idol contestant of all time, but I now consider you one of my favorite musicians, up there with Duncan Sheik, Radiohead, Jack White, Foo Fighters, Matthew Good. You're on that list, now.